In order to look forward, we need to look back. In looking back, I have learned and now I need to take what I have learned and redirect for the future. All of this is taking a huge amount of time and energy. And, so I am simplifying. I am taking things off the plate. I am saying NO to many carrots dangling in front of me. Art "carrots" are the hardest to back away from for me. If it has to do with creativity and color or marketing and art, I HAVE TO do it, don't I?!? Well, the answer is NO. And, so I'm saying No to things which would appear to be very good things for me. The problem is they are not the great things. I don't want any more "good enough", I want to live in the great-the path that God really intended for me to be on. I've wandered quite a bit along that path lately, pursued some gravel roads I should of left alone, learned some things on some bunny trails I followed, but now I'm working on focus. I'm learning about me and it is painful, hard and time consuming. I'm confronting the things I have believed about myself that are not truth. I'm confronting the things other have told me about me that is not truth. I'm trying to live in the truth that God says about me.
Thanks for being patient with me while I walk this path. There is so much more freedom on the other end. I'm walking toward that freedom, dipping my toes back in the muck here and there, stretching myself. The whole process feels about as pleasant as getting my teeth cleaned, not easy but good-maybe healthy is a better word for it. For I know that in order to CREATE-I need to first conquer fear, in order to TEACH-I must first know, and in order to INSPIRE-I must first listen. I'm doing the work of the deep listening and knowing what my life is saying.
Right now...I have more work to do.